melancholic mud.. :[

*ugh..... i hate feelin miserable and sorry, and wasted and trashed and worthless....
but it seems to be haunting me every minute of my nonexistent zero layf.....
i mean i can't help it...
____
you don't want me wearin black?
you don't want me sulkin' 'round teh corner?
you don't want me bein untalkative?
>bear with it.....

you want me socializin' wit everybody?
you want me to dress this way?
you want me that way? just lyk that "girl-next-door"?
>well, i got news fer yah... this is me.. and this is what i wanna be....
____

today, is just like another day.. im wishin i wont go home anymore... i'd lyk to be independent....
dat's why i love being with yah TOPAKERS, coz with yah.. i cud be as crazy-as-hell....
i cud be wat i wanna be... i cud have everythin i need... i cud almost touch teh sky....

but yah know wat's teh best thing bout with yah guys? it's dat ACCEPTANCE...
you don't care, bout how one look, bout how one dress up, bout wat his lyf status is just as long as he/she cud be fun to go along wit ...
dang it to hell, i love you guys.... yer teh best family i ever had...

____
wish we'll ol still be there until we are ol both senile and old-aged......

spread love(insanity) guys

xoxo,
senam/sarah